I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
