What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
