Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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