Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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