New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think people are normalizing furries
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
