I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
