If i come over, it means nothing
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
