Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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