TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
