Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
