i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
