My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
