So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
