I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
