ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize