i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
