He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
