i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
