she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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