The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
