If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
