yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
