so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
