Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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