Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize