Got a toothbrush?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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