Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
