As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
