I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
