yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
