he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
