It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So vagazzling was a success
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize