But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
