Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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