You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
