My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
