Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
