This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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