It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
