Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I want to fling myself into the sun
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
