We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
