a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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