After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
