The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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