why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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