AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
