my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
