You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
