If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
