I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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