Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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