i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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