oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
