what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
