God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
