Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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