The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
