Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
