Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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