tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
