felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
