She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
