yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
